我的世界

Love is still remain...

2011-07-09T12:27:00.001+08:00

I clearly know that we no longer together, but my Feeling towards you, the feeling of having you with me, the Love...still remain...This would be the Hardest part...
Even thou I told you that I'm still thinking of you, but the only replied that I've got was ' It's just time...In time, u wont feel in that way anymore'...
I'm still looking for a way turning back....

。。。

2011-04-09T22:11:00.000+08:00

为什么人总是不会知足？幼稚园都学过了，贪心的小黄狗，看见了水里自己的倒影，嘴里还啃着另一根骨头，于是，为了要抢到‘水里’的那根骨头，而跌入河里。。。
应该分清楚河汉界，不要再拖泥带水了。。。可是，心里总有好多好多的不舍得。。。那些开心的回忆一直拉着大家的距离，不肯剪断。。。
在残忍，也得牺牲。。。事实就是那么的残酷。。。

好乱

2011-04-03T01:42:00.000+08:00

出馗，绝对做不得。。。会有报应。。。

疑惑。。。

2011-03-23T13:46:00.002+08:00

当初的幻想象清晨迷蒙的雾，有一道暖暖的光照射着。。。随着太阳升起，雾也被太阳的热情收服，虽然可惜，但还是得乖乖的伏在叶子上完成它的过程。。。凝聚变成露珠，幻想也慢慢变成真实。。。看到的，不象是小说里或小学生在作文里所描写的一样“美丽早晨”。。。而是。。。~ 所不出一句话，只能感受。。。那种感觉有多无奈。。。感叹，为何现实生活，和自然生态有那么天渊之别呢？虽然生物和大自然都是上帝制造的，但，至少在自然生态，只需每天完成它的过程，而人咧？明明就有问题，可是总不能解决还是选择逃避，留着污迹，让遗憾陪他们度过人生。。。

生日快乐、Happy Birthday

2011-03-10T12:41:00.000+08:00

平平淡淡总比不开心来得好。。。和去年相比较，虽然哪都没去，可是我宁愿像今年的一样以平淡的心情过完这一天。。。今年，让我深深体会到，在普通的日子也可以比在特别的日子过得开心，不一定要在特别的日子才可以体会到那种心情。。。

已经第三年了，过生日都有Assignment来陪着。。。今年，放纵自己，动都没动，在家悠闲着。。。再和B到Chicago Ribs用餐。。。餐后，陪他买一些出国的须用品，过后就到他家去，谈谈天。。。

很奇怪，他说：“长大了，22岁了，要好好读书。。。知道吗？”*心想，他干脆当我爸爸算了啦~（他会说22岁是我个人要求的）嘻嘻！不要脸的小家伙。。。

是很平淡吧？没有生日蛋糕，没有蜡烛。。。生日歌？有啦~弟弟致电，只唱了生日歌，什么都没说就挂上电话。。。莫名其妙，真是的~

可是就是心满意足了。。。嘻嘻 ^^


Fried Mushrooms

Grilled lamb chop,Pork rib and baked potatoes

First weekend in Melacca

2011-02-13T15:59:00.002+08:00

Valentine's day is just around the corner, there're so many couples out there celebrate it with their loves one. It doesn't mean you can only celebrate valentine's day with your bf/gf, but your loves one - family members,close friends,or even your close housemates (if u have them), etc.

Altho' I don't get to celebrate with my B. on 14th Feb, but I still have him and 2 more friends (How & Ying) to enjoy the 2d/1n amazing food trip at Melacca during the 1st weekends of posting in Melacca.We had tried most of the famous food and local cuisine over the Jonkers st.

Yesterday, We've tried the Melacca cendol,Ais kacang ,baba nyonya laksa and curry laksa at Jonker88, followed by one of the famous chicken rice ball at Jonker also.we were Q'ing up for almost 30mins for that chicken rice under the burning sun . Ouhh ya! The most 'Fantabulous' 1, seafood at Portugese village!! yum yum!! ^^

Besides, we also visited those historical buildings ~

This morning,we went to have our Creepe cakes (yummy),after that we stopped at a local kopitiam-siang chiang, to have half-boiled eggs,steamed roti and kopi o'.

Next station, chicken rice ball again at another shop at Jonker streets. Before they balik, we went for satay babi...{^(@@)^}

Thanks 3 of them for coming all the way to Melacca to spend their weekends with me,especially my B to celebrate this special day in advance with me.

Gift from my B.

p.s: so sorry T.T Didn't prepare gift for him. So, last minute belanja him seafood.

Respect each others' feeling

2011-02-10T23:02:00.000+08:00

To avoid unnecessary argument which could lead to unhappy r/s, I'll just keep everything for myself...which was initially I thought communication is very important to clear all the doubts and misunderstanding between us.

Paranoid and afraid to tell ... why huh?

Being Ignored again and again and again and......

2011-01-19T23:36:00.000+08:00

I HATE THIS FEELING!!!

谁都带不走这片云彩，留下的只有回忆陪我们回味

2011-01-14T18:44:00.001+08:00

不知为什么，那么感伤。。。现在的我是不想理会别人怎么想我，只想好好，平安的过完这一年半的时间。。。上个星期连续3天头痛不已，担心自己好像有什么不治之症，晚上还常发恶梦。。。其实，这几个晚上都睡不好，所以黑眼圈这么大。。。我又认识几个朋友，那么年轻，就突然间被证实是最后一期的病。。。总共有三个，虽然都不是很熟。其中一个，是家乡的朋友，小时候有一起玩过。。。比我小一岁。。。突然间宣告不治，这样就走了。。。一直到刚才，我看到以量的部落格“祝你生日快乐”，我都不敢打开来看。。。生命，不长不短。。。我想，应该是他的病人在生日那天离开这世界吧~ 怕，读了又再哭。。。所以，为什么要担心那么多？就开开心心的过就好。。。做好自己的本份，想做什么就去做吧~

朋友，。。。。。

Learn how to cope with one another...

2011-01-13T19:07:00.002+08:00

Seriously, I hate this sentence :
[If you like someone, you must accept the good and bad points of that person.]

Actually I got this sentence from one of my classmates- David. Not prejudice definitely,but just nice it stimulates my brain to write something regarding to this.
Initially, yes...I agreed. It's true you need to accept the entire person physically and mentally...but what about his or her attitude/personality? If your partner is a very bad tempered person, cannot even wait for you for 10,20mins just because of he feels that you're wasting his time, which he could use that 10 to 20 mins to nap. After all, he kept throwing tantrums, barking for 1 hour...of course if you love him, you have to accept the way he behaves... What you can do is nothing but just acting like a deaf person and bear with him....however,to live with this sucky monster, are you sure you'll Love him enough to bear him for your whole life? including his attitude being like this? People,Learn how to cope with each other...He should at least learn, slow to anger and control it by telling the girl nicely..Am I right?

2nd, a guy who slaps his own girlfriend is totally a junk!! never be a good listener and never wants to talk about their problems, this kind of MOFO doesn't deserve your love, leave that pharker ASAP!!! I was so stupid, go tell people,as if they could help me by making me feel better cuz they were sympathy on me... Terrible...tsk!! >.<"

There is another story, initially, a gang of our friends that we used to mix together usually, keep saying that sentence to me...I'm not sure whether they were telling the same thing to that person or not...They are kinda like ..."helping"...(my side) That is why, now I am on my way to work out since that fatty has offered girl a chance...If it doesn't give a fruitful outcome, doesn't matter...At least I've tried... but now,it seems like I'm convinced, even i never speak out to anyone yet. Hope that, in the end, things run smoothly and ... fatty wont let me down.

Therefore, a good communication between both could helps to avoid those unwanted/unnecessarily doubt n problems...Please analyse a person,before u choose him/her as your boyfriend/girlfriend... Those scary incidents makes me don't believe in feeling ... I've became an analyser...

Terima kasih tuan tuan dan puan puan,saudara dan saudari sekalian.

I was wrong....

2011-01-12T15:29:00.001+08:00

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. [看了一篇文章写的。。。]

[It has been 6 years...I thought I've learned some lessons from my experience...I thought I was the so-called Director, I thought I could change everything in such a way that I wish it to be. After 6 years, I am still the same. Every time when things happened, I always magnify and overvalued my ability, thought that I could make things better.However, after I tried to fix or trying to negotiate when things happened...No doubt, superficially I could see some changes there. Contrarily, I felt something went missing too~ "Sincerity" no longer there.The more I asked, the more they will do it purely just because I want it to be like that instead of they do it/ say it from the bottom of their heart. Still remember one of my previous post? I said, I envy...I feel I'm so stupid and regret with what I've done on myself...Now, I've looked back,and asking myself, I have everything, ain't I? I should have let it works slowly and naturally. Good one will always goes to ones who waits. I don't have to push or say a single word. Remain silent as I come, and go if the feeling for me no longer there. I wish I could implement what I've understand from the statement above, altho' I feel guys should read it and practice it in real life rather than we,ladies... ]
and one more thing I've learned... Learn to bear and forgive if you really love them...just how u were forgiven by Him...of course u wont angry your family members for a life time right? you fight and you play n laugh after so many times,love for each other will never reduced even a single mm3...how nice if both of u (I should say,all the couples) can just be like that...

老娘在此祝，天下有情人终成眷属

好笑到。。。。。。。

2011-01-09T22:27:00.002+08:00

哈哈！！以下是我和叔叔的对话：-

susu: 你有去过青屋（che'chu）吃hokkien mee lam loh吗？好吃！

我：有去过那边吃，可是没听说过哪里的福建面lamloh好吃。。。以前after clubbing 都去那边吃。。。

susu: wah! 你有去 clubbing 的啊？

我：以前去过几次。。。现在没有了。。我很乖的啊～呵呵！

susu: 呵呵！你很 "guai"? 你的"guai" 是乖巧的“乖” ，还是“kuai lan" 的 "kuai?

*这一句pom出来，真是让我反应不过来。。。表妹和姑姑都笑爆了。。。

今天过得还蛮充实的。。。开心！！ ^^

Facebook status....

2011-01-08T23:27:00.000+08:00

从 [in a relationship---->single---->widowed---->single]...接下来呢？complicated吗？

无聊透了。。。一点玩意儿都没有~ 刚洗完澡，正在做面膜。。。那么有时间，干嘛不做些有意义的是啊？有啊~下午虽了午觉。。。‘吃’下午茶。。。这样就完了。。。想读书。。。一天拖着一天。。。常给自己借口。。。

明天要早醒，和叔叔，姑姑，表妹一起去吃早餐然后shopping...嗯~就这样啦。。。

哎哟~想到我的电脑。。。还真麻烦！！可是，幸好有人心情好，帮了我一个大忙，以免费修理电脑的权利都帮我争取到了！！哈哈！！好开心！可是，他还是在那边碎碎念啦。。。我知道他要我学习自己解决问题，可是。。。我英文太差，怎么说得赢他们咧？

总而言之，谢啦大肥bebi！！回去再好好请你吃一餐咯~

今天的他简直就是一座大冰山。。。我问一句他答一句。。。算了！sms 就够了。。。

啦啊啊啊~！！！！！

故事完毕了！谢谢！！

Surprise!

2011-01-05T01:25:00.000+08:00

很感谢我的假期和圣诞不是没有惊喜,而只是迟到的惊喜^^
很开心不只是那名贵的礼物,而是另一个被肯定的礼物...虽然,我不赞同...但是,心里面,安了许多...
现在的我,压力越来越大..因为,我没有因为这两份礼物而忘我...我还是一个Analyser,知道我要的是什么,必须做到的东西又是什么...因为,我不是要求物质的女生,我还很理智...
然而,还是有担心的事情...原来,他的弟兄们都低估他了... 不知道他的厉害...绝对比蜜蜂,蝴蝶还高招~ 就因为这样,我都不去问他太私人的问题...免得打翻一大瓶醋...我唯一能做到的就是闭两只眼,如果发生了,试着改变自己的观念...或许,可以商量...虽然之前发生一件事,他也答应不会再这么做..可是.... 他会吗? 我相信他会!!

圣诞节的话

2010-12-23T01:34:00.001+08:00

有朋友说过，在这一天，不只是一个庆祝的节日，也是纪念他们的神所为他的信徒们所作的牺牲和复活之日。。。我不是什么基督教徒，不过以前有参与过，所以多少都知道一些些。。。
以前，都和其他人一样，都会做什么交换礼物的。。。可是，就在去年，认识了一个笨蛋，从未收过他的一份礼物，现在的我，也不会期望收到礼物。。。可是，我还是会照样把我自己的心思做出来，送给朋友们。。。慢慢的，我想我也会习惯吧？
为什么把自己描写得那么可怜兮兮啊？最近爱上了手表，要不要向妈妈撒娇，要一个啊？呵呵！！好卑鄙哦~
这一次，常常往槟城来回，刚好圣诞夜还在家乡，都不能和朋友一起出去。。。
嘻嘻！写到一半，突然间想到去年的31/12写的部落格，光阴似箭，又到了今年的年为了。。。好不舍得哦！一眨眼，又毕业了！！！哈哈！！

Envy

2010-12-15T19:56:00.000+08:00

Everytime I scanned through my facebook homepage, I could see those comments and shoutouts posted by my friends and my cousins to their bf/gf... I started to think,who am I? why I cannot be like them? Carefree...
I'm just a girl like you people out there, what I want is just a simple relationship with my love one. However, what are those matters that actually hinders me from having a simple relationship as others are having?
Honestly, I doubt my confidence,also your feeling towards me...I could see you are trying hard to convince me and gain confident from me towards you. However, I don't feel secured sometimes just because I get ignorance from you in public and i've to pretend nothing happened...
Envy, I always envy on those couples who can be so carefree ^^
They are so sweet ^^
sometimes, I'll console myself with your text msg... The only one msg which can only make me feel comfort was "holding your hand and walk along with you,to take your car..." --- definitely you forget this ,but I r'mbered it altho' it no longer in my inbox....
I think, it's time for me to grow up... thought I've learned from my previos r/s, I thought i've already grown up...the truth is...I'm still a <3 failure~

讨厌鬼！！！

2010-11-30T02:15:00.001+08:00

为什么我那么执着？为什么我那么在乎？为什么我心里那么的害怕？我真的害怕。。。我再也不会相信任何人所说的话了。。。我真的好失望。。。我的要求只是坦白。。。为什么要说谎？说谎是不是很过瘾？我想，以后我会以同样的态度来对待了。。。都怪自己笨。。。以前什么事都告诉人家。。。我越在乎，越把事情搞得复杂，惹人心烦！倒不如，我也来说说"骗话"，让他们感觉，被"骗"的滋味。。。为什么我把自己搞得这么累？对不对？两个人相爱，在一起自然的就会开心。。。如果，当爱情走到必须一起努力的时候，那就是有问题了。。。

我想，我不需要那么贬低自己的价值。。。好像又听朋友说过“人长得那么好看，家庭背景有那么好，肯定有更好的人来爱你、疼你。。。为什么要伸手向他乞讨？”

这句话说的没错，虽然不是指我，但是事实在于“只要那个男生真正喜欢你的话，他会为你付出，疼你，绝对不会放你一个人去面对困难，做任何事之前都会顾虑到你的感受。。。不是吗？”

还是，我真的不适合？我开始觉得累了。。。因为我怕。。。我对他太有信心了。。。以前我有人告诉我说“男生不会随便对女生那么好。。。对那女生有意思才会对她好”那～她那么不顺路，他那一天都那么累了，他不拒绝她，一回家又出去载她。。。这又意味着真么呢？她家人呢？她不是已经有男朋友了吗？为什么会要他去载？换着是我，我还会不好意思呢！！

如果，在那封简讯有明确说好是她的话，这些烦死人的事情就不会发生了！！！还有，他说话的语气。。。那伤我还不少。。。讨厌！！！鬼话连篇！！！我想我以后不会笨笨地说实话了。。。

我想我自己也可以找到我要的快乐。。。更不需要人家来施舍我！更何况，有人说：“只要有快乐和信心，不用你伸手，爱情也会来找你。。。” 到时候我就不必为这些不值得我烦的人和无聊的事而烦了。。。

听着，我真的不需要你的怜悯！！! 我自己可以独立！！！不喜欢我的话就请你从我的生活中消失，爱我的话，请你别让我觉得害怕。。。嘴巴所说的是一回事，做的又是另一回事～你们真的好恐怖～这叫我怎么相信？怕～怕～

Blessed and Happy Birthday, Uncle!! ^^

2010-11-20T22:58:00.001+08:00

Hhhmmph~ uncle, sorry coz I've nothing special and fancy stuff for you, but i could only made this as your birthday gift, hope you like it~

Happy birthday ^^

hehex!paiseh la... the writting abit messy...

ouh~ ya... and the layer cake, hutang first okay?

epi epi bird-day to you, tua pui!! ^^

幼稚的我, 想快快长大...

2010-10-16T19:24:00.003+08:00

幼稚!!

我还是我~ 江山易改，本性难移~

2010-10-13T13:42:00.001+08:00

为什么一直觉得没有安全感? 不管他对我多好,我心里中觉得,不是发自他内心的对我好...他对我的好,我怎么总觉得,他在配合我...单纯,纯粹只是以朋友身份对我好...要不是我告诉他我的感受,他会不会一样对我好呢?

有时候,我这句话一说出去,他就很不开心...他觉得自己以为做得不够好...其实,并不是这样的... 是我的问题，是我在还没有得到肯定，总会这样。。。肯定又怎样，没有被受肯定那又怎样。。。其实我想太多了。。。

其实，看到许多例子，爱情路走到那么遥远了，还是遇到尽头。。。我真的很害怕，害怕这次又遇到同样的问题。。。我告诉自己，宁愿找一个疼爱我的人也不要再找一个我喜欢人。。。

脾气我会收敛，可是我还是我，生气时就是那么的冲动。。。

唉~ 朋友说“要移开一座山还比改变一个人的格性来得容易得多了 ” 。。我同意这句话。。。没有人能改变一个人的性格，态度。。。只有能收敛。。。今天比昨天生气少一点点，明天比今天少一点点。。。那就够了。。。

没有人是十全十美的。。。要和他在一起就得接受他的不完美。。。一个喜欢吃蛋黄，另一个喜欢吃蛋白，那才合拍啊。。。当然，如果你发现他也和你一样，喜欢蛋黄，那就必须割舍一半，与她分享。。。就像他脾气不好，就包容他，等他气消了，再好好沟通，那就好啦~

不管是男是女，说一声对不起，再爹，再撒娇一下，就没事了嘛。。。

原来我太高估自己的坚强于自立

2010-10-05T22:36:00.000+08:00

一直以来，都把自己弄得女超人一样。。。去到哪里，都是自己一个人。。。而且，被一个人告诉自己说“欣赏我的独立，不是每个女生都能像我一样，适应力强，什么事都自己一个人解决。。。”　能够得到他的肯定，我很开心。。。才发现，原来在人家眼中自己是那么独立的。。。
一直到昨天，病倒了。。。才知道，事实并不是他想象的那样．．．我很懦弱，我也只不过是一个普通的女生，也需要人家的呵护．．．

第一个想到的还是家乡。。。真的好想哭。。。自从Form4到槟城读书后，就很少回家了。。。即使有假期也忙着补习和读书。。。每一次生病都很痛苦，不会有人理会。。。每一样事情还是必须靠自己。。。一整晚，就坐在厕所前等着。。。怕来不及跑到厕所呕。。。到了大约早上8pm吃了叔叔给的药才可以入睡。。。不是不想看医生，问题还是在于经济方面。。。真想不到自己可以沦落到生病都逼着自己不去看医生。。。
到了中午，他call来慰问，一挂电话，就从到厕所里去 “解决” 了。。。一个人在家，也能觉得自己好像被欺负一样可怜。。。真的好想回家。。。好想哭。。。T.T
过后，我call回去给我老娘，跟老娘报告一切。。。还被她吐曹说 : " 贪吃...吃了米粉汤还吃云屯面..."　跟老娘有说有笑后感觉比较好了...
一整天就只喝两杯Milo,而且还是下着大雨，去买的．．．连老天阿公也在欺负我．．．你看！！　

过后,等他放工后,他又call 过来...老实说,　自己还觉得欣慰,　至少他还会找我几次...好想念他．．．［嘘～！　他都不喜欢我说我想念他．．．］
过后, HS 也有至电话来,　还比我老娘长气(可是我就是喜欢他这样), 一直叫我去看医生...哈哈！

哎～　好讨厌那些无聊的论文！！！再加上胃痛．．．他妈的．．．死了算了．．．

完美，不再完美。。。

2010-09-28T16:49:00.000+08:00

家丑不可外扬。。。可是，真的是顶不顺了。。。
原本，我可以了解她的心情，还骂自己的弟弟。。。
可是，他们全家人真的是踩上人家头上来了啦。。。亏我爸妈还那么好心对待她。。。
不管心里有多愤怒，多替家人打抱不平，只希望有一天，他们得到上天赐的教训。。。
curse curse curse >.<"

中秋节快乐+生日快乐

2010-09-22T23:10:00.002+08:00

跟朋友约好7：30pm 到，结果闹钟的确是调了7点醒，只是，忘了换成 PM 罢了。。。结果我迟到了。。。

在家吃晚饭后就出发到 Starbucks 买了Java Chips 就前往目的地。。。

到了，把手中的饮品递给生日的那个人-赐光（sze kwang) ，再祝他生日快乐。。。

Java Chips

到的时候，已错过了烧烤的欢乐，可是还有照片可以体验那气氛。。。


BBQ different types of ball ball...

我到不久后，他们就开始以月饼代替生日蛋糕来庆祝三个人的生日：

Sze kwang ,Jeff Fu & David 是前提庆祝。。。


Blow candles


Receive their birthday presents

Group photo

过后,我们大家提着灯笼到 Taman 绕一圈, 再去游乐场...


Ladies with Laterns


Before go rayau -rayau

Playground

Ladies


Most of you can only see the lantern...the yellowish tiny dot on top of the lantern was last nite's Moon...

Cleaning process

回到朋友家,继续吃零食谈天... 过了一阵子,就各自回家了~ ^^

朋友们,中秋节快乐~

临终关怀之感想

2010-09-20T13:16:00.002+08:00

嗯~ 原本叔叔问我要听这讲座会吗？我一口拒绝了。。。
又不知如何，在凌晨2点钟，把看着一半的《公主嫁到》关了，在楼梯口的白板上留言：“民叔叔，我决定跟你们去那讲座会。。。” （我们家有这习惯，把重要的留言写在楼梯口的白板）
过后，把闹钟调7：30am ，就睡了。。。

隔一天醒来，梳洗后，他们买了早餐给我，吃后就出发了~
老实说，一到目的地,感觉我好像来错地方了。。。因为看到两位法师。。。
可是，听着听着。。。其实，他们都把我小时候对死亡的概念一一揭开了。。。

还记得四年级那年，补完习，就坐在篮球场等爸爸来接。。。就在等着的时候，一个同班同学就问我“你怕死吗？”。。。回去，就问妈妈人死后会怎样?可是却被骂了一顿, 说我乱说话,要我用手打嘴巴。。。
所以，小时候的我很怕死，应为我看到死去的人都被埋葬在泥土里。。。不能呼吸了。。。想着想着。。。自己用手捏着鼻子，忍着不呼吸。。。哇！好痛苦！！
即使长大了，知道人死后就停止呼吸,根本不关被埋在土里憋着呼吸的痛苦,但还是会害怕死亡...
所以,我不后悔昨天出席那讲座会..他深深让我体会到,, 人活在当下要懂得珍惜, 坦然面对每个人...
很多时候,人总要顾着面子,都不愿意把拿三个字说出口,结果,即使到了临终前还把气氛搞得很疆...
那三个字 - 对不起,我错了,我爱你,原谅了,等...很难说吗?为什么在世的人要让临终的人带着遗憾过世呢?
"其实, 如果活着的人没有尽心尽力办到临终病人的愿望, 活着的人会更加痛苦,他们还继续活着,他们又意识,他们会想,他们必须继续承担...
(cite:yiliang, 2010)"

原来, 和临终病人回顾他的人生,点点滴滴,是多么重要的过程~ 从中,可以告诉他们所作了哪些好事~ 不管什么宗教信仰的人,都希望自己上极乐世界/天堂...大家都相信,在活着的时候一定要善行...只要做到一件坏事就必须受到惩罚... 可是,在这时候,宗教信仰就会扮演它的角色了...
临终时,最重要的是,即使病人知道以前有做错事,死后将被惩罚, 病人只要在最后一口气前要有好的意念,要舍得,要放得下... (cite:yiliang, 2010)
好的意念就是所谓的 "死者死后,相信会有佛/上帝/主耶稣会把他们带到所谓的极乐世界或是天堂...这样,他们就会安详的离开了..." (cite: Reverend) 这也是善终的其中元素执意...

有理智的人,是会学着去适应,做他人想要的,
没有理智的人,就只会想要别人听从他的,要别人迁就他...
当你身边的人要离开你时,不如你就当一个理智的人...听听他想要说的,想要做的, 趁他还在世,还清醒时,一一帮他完成...而不是争着要他立下什么遗属, 丧礼要办多大,办几天? 那些做给别人看的东西,对死者不重要了...
还有, 最重要是别哭~ TMD!! 生前要是没好好珍惜,对待...那就别对着往生者哭得一把鼻涕一把眼泪了~ 人死了,就要他好走...哭,不会让他起死回生, 别让他放不下~

所以,各位读者... 活在当下, 就要好好对待家人和亲人~
别幼稚地斗下去了...一句对不起, 一句我错了,原谅我, 一句我爱你,可以化解所有恩恩怨怨和莫须有的误会... 我们也因该从现在就了解,生前的身外物,即使是你用你的血汗所换来的金钱财产,也一定要舍得放下,不能带走~ 不管你是什么宗教,都一样...

脱下面具，还是做回自己是最舒服不过了~

2010-09-20T00:03:00.002+08:00

无聊的一天，一早醒来，还继续赖在暖窝里。。。心里就想说：“ 来吧~假装我今天是公主”

在我的童话故事里，

1）公主一定要很漂亮，心底一定要善良

2）公主走路要很优雅，吃东西要细嚼慢咽

3）公主一定要轻声细语，看见坏人要大惊小怪

4）看见王子要害羞脸红，然后...虚弱昏倒 zzz

哇~ 好累哦。。。我最多只能装1分钟的公主，要不然我真的会昏倒~

Lucky, I'm in love with my best friend

2010-08-24T23:27:00.001+08:00

对于我所说过的，想做的。。。虽然都知道是不可能的事，可是，在这几次的相处之下我真的感受到了~ 嗯，够了。。。谢谢！
不知道是我想太多还是你根本没有再配合，也不清楚。。。
我说过，几年后。。。什么事都可能发生。。。现在，我只是把这所谓的截止日期拉长看我所说的是否可能发生？三年也好，五年也好。。。只怕你说话不算话罢了~ 就让时间帮我解开这谜底吧~
下个星期会是最后一个星期可以相处的一天，还好我们是朋友~还称不上好友，那还好~ 做错事说错话不会被我骂。。。呵呵！！！
要不然就会像有些人，说错话就会被骂得狗血淋头。。。可怜呗~

2 weeks review.. ...

2010-08-22T20:46:00.000+08:00

1st week :
Pressure...pressure...pressure....
staying alone sumore in that apartment...scary~
life without laptop n internet...sux~
but when comes to weekends, I was really enjoyed ...
Poker texus and Monopoly are the games to play on weekends...

2nd week :
Relax ... relax.... relax....
Avery is so nice to me...He did ask questions,but most are from syllabus...but too bad for Rachel, cuz she is the 1 he always bully ^^
Dinner with friends and my 'son' .... at least im not taking dinner alone ^^

Here...comes to the 3rd week... I'll be under Agnes's guidance ... I like her... she 's awesome...altho' im afraid of her sometimes when she is serious v her work...

告诉我你真实的感受，好吗？

2010-07-31T23:55:00.000+08:00

不要再逃避了，请你面对我好吗？我不是很清楚你到底在想什么？以前的你一定会回我简讯,可是经过这件事后,你有时候都不会回我简讯了~ 你能叫我不怀疑你生气吗？

我真地向你道歉，因为没想过会写到敏感的话题。。。

因为在生活的例子真的是有这些人的存在。。。

所以我想，这一次只是我一厢情愿罢了，不关你的事啦~ 别把自己当主角啦~ beh paiseh... hahhax!

既然是朋友的话，就告诉我你真实地感受，不需要担心，我不会难过。。。

就想你所说的，没希望好过假希望~ 我会一个人面对这些事。。。

毕竟，我已经告诉过自己早就应该知道答案了嘛。。。这些都不是最重要的 ~

I'm stubborn,so... don't ask me to give up something so easily... It's time consuming...hope you understand...^^

The Eyes ..... that staresssss.... Ssspooooky~

2010-07-31T10:46:00.001+08:00

Uuhmm~ Everybody has eyes,but do they know how to use their eyes in the right way?

<眼睛是所谓的灵魂之窗> ----> For those who don't understand the metaphore "soul of the window", it means " eyes is the most important thing in your body which completes your soul " ... So, you guys, better make sure yourself make use of them in a right way okay?

God creates a pair of eyes for us to see...To see the beautiful World that He has created for Human being and other Living Organism, To see what is right and what is wrong, To see Pretty Girls and Handsome Guys, To see yourself through the mirror (ouh~ you better don't...I'm worried that you might faint to see your reflection as an UGLY creature)....To see whatever things you wish to see~

Buuuut .....~ but! Never ever stare at people! This is a very basic courtesy, don't you know that? Ouh~ you don't know huh? That is why I'm here~ The main purpose for me to be here is to tell you that staring is impolite!! We know we are pretty, but please.... Your 'stare' is very much annoyed...so, please behave yourself and learn to be not stare ~

His eyes were severely crossed!

This is how the Story ends ...

2010-07-30T18:25:00.001+08:00

Basically, I don't really learn from my pass experience or mistakes that i've done before...In fact, even though i seek for advice from people who knows about him better than I do, still I was sooO stubborn that I still keep put'in so much hope on it, until last nite, the truth has revealed and I hurt myself once again... What more I can say? say Padan muka to myself?

My koko wasted his energy and time and talked to me for the whole nite when i realised that I've 1 kind of good feeling towards that Mr. Banana but I never listen...Stubborn...Didn't I ? Please give me a generous applause~ What a good example of a stupid and failed student am I huh~

But maybe some of them telling me that if that person really do like you very much, religion thingy is not a problem at all...The most important thing is understanding between each other because different religion will have a different thinking, different practice ... So, the only interpretation i can get from this person, it's clear enough... I don't have to mention ad rite? so, it's ONLY 1 side reaction ~ I throw the ball, but somehow, I 'll never get the ball back...

Alright, fair enough...As i was mentioned in my previous blog post, I've got the answer and clear explanation from him already, so it's memang padan muka to myself.

Anyway, this time, is really my fault to "play and joke" too much without taking any precaution. That is why i slipped and fell down from the cliff, and I don't feel comfortable at all...At ALL~ When i saw the line "it's only for fun"... Last nite, I couldn't sleep well and had a nitemare... The worst is I'm going to have presentation today... *holy toooooot~

But still , we're friendz... Not a big deal... I'm not a small girl anymore... Plus, this love thingy is not as simple as a small girl ask for a candy / lollipop or plush toy which in the sense that 'I must get it!!' otherwise,I will cry...

In adult world, it's totally different especially in this Love thingy situation, it's not just a candy or plush toy that you wish to have...It's more than that...Actually the feeling is like...stronger than that...stronger than a girl wants a candy or FluffaaaaayyyY Unicorn~ *Agnes voice*

[If only you know ...but u will never know]

However, I've learned that love is not about to make something or maybe someone I would say, belongs to you. It's about how are you going to make your love belongs to someone...Although, they might perasan or am song when they feel your love, but at least they feel happy~ Am I right? My dear readers?

Uuhmm~ Now, I became more and more afraid of being so serious .

I admit that I'm not good in flirt'ing ...

Don't you think that I'm already get enough troubles for myself? So, it's better to kidding around and never be serious when chit-chat'ing...

Ouhh~ No no no~!!! If think from another angle, I should learn how to be tough!! Tough enough to prevent the arrow from the Cupid to penetrate my heart or any part of my body...Or wear bullet shield...hahahx!!

So, basically this is how the story ends ...

No more flirtish messages ,only problem-solution messages and caring messages between US ^^

Baby dino & ah kong

[Hey~ Don't always love love love lerr...(The most sux'iest sentence that i've ever seen which is used to comfort emo people like me) @@ koko, u failed ~ I fail u...can? hahhax!! ]

Friends : Quadro : My True Personality : Carefree

2010-07-30T00:17:00.000+08:00

Preface:

Erherm!! Errr.... uhmm.... Actually it's very spontaneous to start this essay with this title. Basically, I would like to introduce those characters that are going appear in my paragraph soon.

College friend : Miss Chew, Mr.Lee, Mr. Chee

??? friend : Mr. Loo

Chapter 1:

All the three guys are working, 2 are younger than me, another is my koko...Ms. Chew is the only girl who communicate with me in dialect among our friends...

They are all my friends who are not around me 24.7, but when we get together, I will not cover up the true colour of myself, I'm not sure whether they are doing the same or not...but at least, at that moment, I am myself,never show them any fake' ness in front of them ...So, when being together with them I don't have to pretend,there will be no secret ...Same thing happens here, I'll share every single thing with them, but their , still depend on them whether they're willing to share with me or not...It is not a must to tell, they will say it if they want to...I do have a lot of friends, different categories ,but Not this kind of Friend...I feel lucky to have them as my friend...I

m sorry because until now, i still cannot fill in a suitable description for this gang of friends...We can talk about studies, talk about our clinical placement experience, happy/funny/love/sad stories, underage stuff for joking purpose, watch movie, dinner, teasing each other...There will be endless fun for us.... but too bad, it's just time not allow us to do that so often.

Chapter 2:

Ms. Chew is the one who knows almost everything about me, inside out, upside down...

(I think lerr...or maybe i perasan ,den i tak tau la....) She'll still keep silent all the time if I did something which is abnormal (eg : tip toe walking in her room or simply fold and throw my clothes into my wardrobe ), until she cannot bare with me she will help me to do all those stuff... She is not a girl that sweep the floor everyday, neither me...but once she knows that i want to go to her room, she will sweep the floor because she knows...I'm particular with cleanliness but not tidiness ...She would teach me how to dress up , telling me to change my image or whatsoever style instead of everyday wearing T-shirt, T-shirt and T-shirt ...I tried to change, but fail....*giggle* (^*^)

Besides, I used to stay with her after break up with my ex...That time,her freaking weird room mate hasn't move in yet...so, We went to class together, we online, we ate together...did almost all the daily living activities together, except for bathing and pang sai... *giggle*

We did steamboat for 3 days continuously...

Breakfast+Lunch+Dinner = Yummy Tom yam Steamboat


Tom yam Steamboat

Chapter 3:

Hmm~ Mr. Lee & Mr Chee were room mate before, each of them has their own characteristic... The way they talk are different, the way they manage their problems are different... but once three of us sit and have a discussion or chit chat, they would come out with the same idea, somehow... Especially on the topic that might misleading my thinking/perception/understanding...We'll teasing each other, laughing together and look at pretty girls...

"hey! hey!! look at that girl! behind u! behind u! sui boh? " --->this would be 1 of the hot Questions ~ ^^

You may not know that, even they are so good with each other, staying in same room but don't know each other's birthday~ What a good room mate for each other huh... don't even know each other's birday and could only come out with one word when I called 1 of them out to give that birday guy a surprise ----> "C***i!!! today is Alex's birday ar?!!! How come I don't know?!! kh****k** liao, kh****k** liao...."

I was like... *phew~ How sad if Alex heard Terrence's respond ... *

but still, when three of us comes together, I wouldn't think about other things,only kapsiao'ing and there will be an endless discussion for all day long... Any Topic~ Any! unlike some male friends, we might have a certain limit or boundary when chit chat'ing ^^ but not for both of these 2 si ginna... ^^

These 2 little boy working, but I'm still studying... So,hardly meet each other during day time anymore. Hope there are more outings to come for us~

Chapter 4:

Uhhmmm~ This guy... How I'm gonna write about this guy huh? I just knew him for not more than 3 months, through my cousin sis. A guy that makes me feel like.... wow~! I wish to have this ko ko, who can settle some of my problems for me...Hahahx!! No matter happy or sad, I'll tell him and ask the "solution" from him... hahhax!! I haven't fully evaluate this guy, but i feel safe when telling him my stuff...No matter from what dimensions, I feel he is much more better than the Inspector Gadget...hahahx!! This uncle Loo will give me advice (more to solution for the problem i creates) but sometimes he scolds me...@@ for being nottie ler...I'm too stubborn ad...That's why he calls me si ginna....

He knows me quite well...in the sense that , he will not argue and kira with me for everytime after i've made him angry or said the words that's hurtful ...

I couldn't elaborate more than this...but he is a great buddy to me....^^

Now, not even partially evaluate....1/10 pun tak sampai.... hahax!! I know I'm failed...He fails me bcuz I never listen to him, and when i get into trouble, i seek for him again... just like 乩童！！ hahahx!!

I wish I could have more and more chapters to go....It's time to sleep~

我的哭点 --- 不高

2010-07-28T20:07:00.001+08:00

My close friend : Ning

My adik / Ning's lover : An

After I have been watching the video edited by Ning, plus the story and the obstacles that she was facing during the process of baking the cake for An's birthday, my vision has became blur...my eyes are flooded with tears...I have to admit that my crying threshold is too low...

Even a tiny story, just like the criminal mastermind, a character in Despicable Me, has changed from a jerk into a lovely daddy of three orphan girls, especially when he gives those kids good night kisses to them which he never want to do that initially, my tears Ooze'ing from my tear glands at that moment...

* Lllaaaaame~ @@

I wish that I could be like her ,can prepare a handmade cake for my lovers, but i have no chance to come across this occasion. It has been so many years i left my family to further my studies in Penang and KL. I wish that my family members will stay by my side all the time...but the truth is ,i need to be independent....

No doubt, It's true that physically they are not with me, but i am very sure that, mentally they are all by my side 24.7...The most recent celebration was 2 or 3 years back from 2010, my siblings and I celebrate mother's day together, and I could still r'mber how charming and beautiful was her smile~ ^^

What about Boyfriend? Too bad, i have never celebrate birthday for anyone of my Ex's. Things happen before their or my birthday comes...Last year I wish to give him a surprise, but he ruined everything.

*giggle + tears flow'ng* ....

Last year while preparing the things for his birthday,I still r'mber how does my friend advise me, but i never listen... This is because I thought that he really waiting for that surprise....After all, when i stand in front of him, he was just ....hmm...~ At the end, I hurt myself... Is that the reason why I am single now?

Fear avoidance huh~ Lllllaaammeeeee~

Apparently, i am still enjoying my single life very much! I have my Freedom and Privacy! I have my male and female friends~ I have my uncle and aunt~ I have my lil. cousins...^^

I am here wish'ing all the couple, married husband & wife , 终成眷属 ~ Live Happily ever After~

After i've read one of my friends' blog, only i know, without the existing of the peak high and peak low, just like the waves in the ocean ,my life will be just a clean, nice and crispy piece of paper and never be exciting... so, specially thanks my Family Members, my Aunty Uncle ,Cousins, my Friends, my Enemy, my Ex and Readers for playing a role in my life... * Lllllaaaammmeeee~

Basically, It's all about our biochemical thingy in our body, the neurotransmitter substances that manipulate our mood or feeling...

It's impossible for someone neither to have happy feeling all the time nor sad all the time...

So, if there is sad thing happens to you, solve it with a smile...This is because I believe that, God or maybe Time will allow you to think critically in order to get the solution and ensure that problem resolved 1 day...

Problem never exists forever ~

The only problem that could defeat you, is yourself ~

Try to be a good listener, counsel them or try to help them by giving them advice or suggestions...

For those who can read mandrin, I 'd like to tell you this :

帮助别人，提升自己~

帮助别人，不在于你可以帮到他们解决多少问题/烦恼，而是，当你听到他们的问题后，在你身上所发生的种种逆境，会让你觉得，你比别人好很多了，那你的问题就不再是问题了~

ComplicateD

2010-07-28T01:07:00.001+08:00

Hey, you~ yes, it's you~ If you really want to make that person to be yours, what should you do? Of course, basically you need to get to know them and understand them first before everything comes to play a role...

but i thought this would be part of the process for a couple? how about other issue? Fear avoidance? Mindset? culture?

Age? ---> (this would be chye's primary consideration)

Until now, i've seen alot of examples, friends around me and makes me realise that If this would happened, that means these "issues" really significantly affect our decision making,then ,that means you don't love that person enough to accept their "Imperfection"...

My statement here, never blame any side of you people. In fact, you may have your right to reason out... At least, you let your rational overwhelm rather than your ....whatsoever feeling that taking into account for any of your decision making. (p.s: Maybe this is one of the reason makes me admire about you.)

However, we don't know what is going to happen in our future...Time will prove everything after action has been taking place..So, people... If you really think that, he or she is an ideal partner in future, don;t have to be nice looking or rich, The personality is the most important thing..Opportunity strikes only once, grab it or you might regret, no harm done if u give yourself a try...

(koko,this 1 must r'mber...I support u..go and get her if u still think she is the best partner...altho in your heart im a failed student but i do learn...)

For me, myself, At least I never regret, and happy with the answer together with the explanation i've got.

[ps: Since we already know the answer, and yet we are still fine with the way we used to communicate with each other... I am satisfy with every explanation that u gave to me and happy with our current condition. The most important thing is i don't have to keep this for myself anymore, and we can be ourselves again and act carefree all the time ]

[Ning kia, my english sux! my grammar sux! my writing....SUX! cnt swim zzz...]

Aging Process

2010-07-27T23:38:00.000+08:00

Hhummhh~ what a wonderful Single life that i am having huh.... Fascinating~ Exciting~ Carefree~

Go where ever place i want to, do whatever things i wish to, never care about how does other people judging me...* like I careeeee~ *

However, most of my daily routine involve only my aunt & uncle which makes me feel like my Aging Process is speeding up. No matter how do i judge myself, from what angle, each of every dimension, i feel old... T.T

The way I think, the way I talk, the way I act, is too 'lao yi' !!! I dont want to be that old~ What can I do in order to inhibit the secretion of growth hormones?

Friends, any outings please count me in, in order to slower my aging process~

朋友的定义

2010-07-26T13:50:00.000+08:00

我，或许对你们不重要，但是，你，你，你，你，还有你，在我心里，我真的把你们当成了我生活的一分子。。。我把我的一颗心拿出来对待朋友，不是希望得到昂贵的回报，我需要的只是关心，支持，当对方的听众，一起制造快乐的回忆，陪对方度过我的人生。。。

要找到知心好友，真得很不容易。。。有时候我觉得我开始依赖你们了，所以，就算一点点的变化或是对我的态度有所冷淡，我会很失望~ 还是如果你有苦衷，还是忙着，可能笨蛋的我不知道，请你们给我一声通知。。。虽然我不是你的谁也好，至少我不会去想有的没的。。。
是从你身上学会“人是自私的” ，这个道理。。。我很想成为像你这样可以为自己而活一次，我承认，我很失败。。。因为我比较重感情，所以做不到。。。也不是说你们不讲义气，这是人格问题。。。

在这两天的聚会上才学会，原来，做朋友也需要磨练好自己待人处世的表面功夫。。。带着面具去面对这世界。。。要不然，迟早被朋友背叛，也是自找的~ 没得怪谁的错。。。
是因为我从乡下来，所以我无知吗？难听一点，我就是笨！
还有谁可以来教我要怎样设计属于自己那精致的面具然后再怎么挂上它吗？
我想，对于你们来说，我这个孺子，怎么教都教不好吧~ 失败的学生，哪位老师想浪费自己的时间的。。。只能靠自己一步一步学~

我不知道我做错了什么事情，而造成你对我的敷衍。。。如果真的有，请你老实告诉我。。。别对我那么冷淡~ 我承认有的时候我很任性，我会试着改。。。江山易改，本性难移~请你们给我多一点时间。。。
我知道你有比我还要好的朋友，但你对我一次又一次的拒绝，我真得很失望。。。我介意为什么你什么事情都找他们，只是因为我们不是同一组的吗？真的那么简单？
你要我为你做什么，我都不曾拒绝过，如果不能，也尽量帮你完成。。。一来，可能希望能讨好你，帮你做好一件事后，可能会有话题，二来，想要你还记得我这个朋友，我会帮你，不会跟你计较什么的。。。我关心的是你的人，你的健康，你快不快乐。。。我不希望你饿肚子，我会请你吃。。。你不开心，我希望你会找我倾诉。。。
好朋友不一定要每天都粘在一起，只要对方有事，都回为他做些什么的，那才是真正的朋友。。。

每个人对朋友都有自己的定义~ 那你的定义又是什么呢? 请你们大家扪心自问。。。只有对你们有利益的才叫做朋友吗？如果是这样的话，那我因该清楚知道为什么我交的全都是平平之交~ 还是我的面具太透明式了？时常表露出自己最真的那一面？讨好不到大家~惹人讨厌？如果是这一点，我想，我会努力磨练~
不要到时候你们说我心机重就好了。。。

)))))....我们的互动就像涟漪.....(((((

2010-07-21T12:52:00.000+08:00

《我和香蕉人的故事 - 第二篇》

虽然之前说的是香蕉人还是没和小公主在一起，也对他不理不睬~ 可是，这一篇，故事有变动哦~

前几天，还以为说了什么不该说的话得罪香蕉人，结果连简讯都写得好短。。。可是再想想，可能他在忙着工作，不方便回。。。嗯~ 既然他说没事，那就好~ ^^

一直以来是我太被动吗？还是香蕉人的本性就那么的冷淡？每一次都是我先找他。。。他才会有反应。。。（对不起，我不想接受这么高难度的挑战，我真的放弃了~ ）

可是前几天，应为我忙着准备考试，既使一整天都不理对方，在睡醒开机和睡前关机时还是会受到一封香蕉人的简讯啦~ 可是，如果我没回呢？那真的就是一整天都不可能会有谈到话了~

觉得自己好像风筝，线一直被放了又收，收了又放。。。我很想当放线和收线的那个人，就在昨晚，我好像办到了。。。

最近，香蕉人好像在介意些什么的。。。以前的我们在FB 会光明正大的留言，现在呢？都尽量不去对方有留言过的留言板留言~

有人说了什么让彼此都尴尬的话，让彼此一直逃避对方~

那笨蛋还真是惹人惹事~ （我没说是谁, 你们也别瞎猜了）

有你陪我，一点都不寂寞~

2010-07-10T15:49:00.000+08:00

你啊你，不用再怀疑了，就是你了。。。真的对我每个星期天做么，有去哪里，那么有兴趣？我现在就来告诉你：我睡醒后就和叔叔，姑姑和表妹去吃早餐，过后再家一起看戏，晚上可能一起去 1U 逛~

也许你觉得我的周末过得很乏味无趣。。。都只跟家人，不找朋友一起出去wet。。。可是，只要我觉得开心，这不就够了吗？

其实，有你的简讯的陪伴，即使一整天呆在家里我也称不上是无聊的人。。。

至少我的一天，有哪几秒，几分钟由你来沾上一部分，都是我的荣幸~

也许你不觉得，但是我就是喜欢收到你的简讯，你的问候~

那至于已有男友/女友的你，也别忘了我真的会想你。。。尤其是妳。。。

我真的很想要和你去一家甜品店吃 ais keleng ... 听得懂这句话的妳，就是你啦~ 呵呵！！真的很想你啦！！！傻婆~

唉，最近出现了一座冰山。。。看来，不时不可能巧破那冰山，他还蛮幽默的~ 只是。。。就是你。。。你啦。。。说什么也要拉到信仰去。。。我想好了，只做朋友~ 他找我谈天，我就陪他说。。。我想和他分享事情，同样的，也会找他。。。

至于另一个朋友呢，我真的真的把他当成自己的哥哥。。。。什么事都会告诉他，因为他会帮我分析在给与我最恰当的劝告。。。我做不对，他会骂我。。。可是我的任性有时候还真的把他气到无话可说~ 想在此跟他说声谢谢。。。对不起，请原谅我的任性~

也有名称给你叫啦~ 小公主。。。就是这么不听话。。。很开心认识你~

还有你，我真的很想跟你上一课Anger Management & EQ management...很想好好学会怎样伪装自己，不这么容易把自己的情绪流露出来。。。很开心认识你~ ^^

[文章上的‘你’指的就是你，就是每一个读者]

谢谢你在我生命中曾经是我的过客

2010-07-06T19:40:00.000+08:00

之前，因为你的出现带给我真正的笑容。。。同样的，也因为你，不过，时间换成现在，你把我的眼泪弄掉了。。。还以为我的伤口慢慢愈合，都是因为你的出现。。。到最后，你还在象似愈合的伤口上銿上一刀后再撒盐~

之前，我承认因为一时冲动，可能狠狠地把你 K 了一顿。。。可是，身为朋友的你，请别带上你那一副好人面具来跟我做朋友。。。原因是 - 因为我笨 ~

他妈的~ 我心机没你那么重。。。我老娘把我生出来的时候怕我太重，把那咚咚给拿掉了，所以我是没心机的小女生。。。

而且，我想在这里请这位脑残的先生，别那么幼稚。。。

没错~ 你绝对有权力喜欢上你对她有好感的女生，不过请你别伤害这位没心机又无辜的笨女生。。。表姐只有一个，即使我有多不高兴你们在一起，我还是会给你们祝福。。。不过，至于我们的友情，就免谈了吧~！

至少，我已献上我的祝福，也算是仁之已尽。。。

我和香蕉人的爱情故事

2010-06-29T18:51:00.000+08:00

有一天，我发现我好像喜欢上一个香蕉人哎~ 还是。。。我只喜欢他的存在？他从来都不会自动找我谈天，每一次都是我先找他说话。。。

还是当朋友好了，毕竟不同信仰又那么被动。。。

*** 小公主最后还是没有和那香蕉人在一起，故事完毕~ 谢谢！！ ***

这次的blog是写给一个跟踪我的人看的。。。要不然他又说我没 Update Blog 了。。。
不要在那边自己暗笑了啦~哈哈哈！！就是你了！！~
呵呵！！你开心了吗？为你而写的啊！！感动咧~哈哈！！

靠夭～　为什么我还在乎他？

2010-06-18T14:11:00.000+08:00

还以为我真得放下了，不再去想他以前对我多不好。。。在FB上也把他删除了，不想知道她的近况～　可是刚才看到他朋友说要等他载她回槟城，觉得好辛酸哦~ T.T

我不知道可以向谁倾诉内心的伤痛，周围的朋友都只会说“放下他啦！” 。。。而不是实际上用行动来帮我把我从地狱拔上来。。。

我真得快发疯了！！！如果再支撑不住，难道我又想回到那恶魔的身边吗？

好想从十楼高的窗户跳下去，那就一了百了。。。　如果真心好友真的存在的话，我真的很想你们大家把我抱得紧紧的，重新给我重活的希望和安全感～

压抑太久，我真得要崩溃了～　

Reverse Psychology

2010-06-16T16:41:00.081+08:00

唉~ 不会拒绝，开不了口，是因为怕大家尴尬~
所以，故意在你面前破坏自己给你的印象。。。
脾气也变得暴躁，还特地骂三字经。。。还以为这样就可以打发他~
可是，除了劝我别那么粗俗之外，他对我的态度还是没改变。。。

对于他，不是完全没有感觉，尤其是看了他在FB对她的留言，不知不觉，心里还是在意，虽然他说过跟他什么都没有。。。而为什么我会对她特别好？是真的发自内心吗？还是压抑自己的心情表演出来的？
她是我的亲人，曾经被他欣赏，我真的很在意这一点~

还是。。。。那句“男生不坏，女人不爱” 这歪理发生在我身上？
为什么？是我犯贱吗？真正对我好的我偏不要，就是喜欢那些坏坏的。。。
到了最后，把自己搞得偏体鳞伤~

我只想要一个平凡的生活~ 有时候打打闹闹的，也不错。。。要不然，永远都酝酿不出一个有温度的爱情了^^

奇怪的感觉

2010-06-12T11:38:00.000+08:00

走在他身旁，感觉好特别哦~ 是特别吗？还是奇怪？呵呵!~ ^^ 我自己也不清楚。。。

当我以为还可以再进一步，放松自己，试着打打闹闹的时候，我那笨蛋大白痴的人体GPS突然亮起红灯向我警告~ 干嘛啊？好尴尬噢！

难道，那道墙还在吗？试图保护我吗？

唉~顺其自然吧！开心就好 ^^

朋友~ 我想做的事就是。。。。。。了解吗？

2010-06-11T23:14:00.000+08:00

还以为可以开开心心过完这个星期，就算你不想去我也不能拿你怎样。。。何必这样祈求那天下起雨来呢？

星期三：

我：Nian，等下有空闲吗？
Nian：等下会一个人去看戏，票已经卖了~
我：那，我等你看完戏再一起去吃晚餐咯~
Nian：好~

（妈妈叫我陪她吃晚餐，自己又饿了，再加上下大雨，所以没有拒绝妈妈）

我：Nian，不好意思~ 下大雨了，取消吧~

星期四：
（在车上）
我： Bb，有空吗？等下一起去吃晚餐好吗？我还想越另一个朋友（Nian）出来~
Bb：嗯~好啊~只有今天没活动~ 问了再告诉我。。。
（到家，A正在讲电话）
我：A, 等下要一起去吃晚餐吗？
A：不能，等下要出席朋友的生日会，你要跟吗？你跟谁？
我：我已经告诉Bb和Nian。。。
A：你发搔啊？
我：Nian, 等下我们越一个地方好好谈天好吗？心情不好~
Nian：好~ 饭后吧！

（由于和S一起参加朋友的生日到很迟了，所以。。。）

我：Nian，对不起，太迟了~ 取消好吗？

星期五：

我：Nian，今晚可以一起吃晚餐吗？
Nian：我约了朋友，对不起~

你们每一个人都对我很重要~ 我只想和你们每一个人可以有时间好好谈天，即使不需一分钱，也能办到的事。。。有些朋友是很久没一起出去了，所以会告诉自己不只是有问题才找他们，偶尔也应该出去谈谈心~ 可是，就因为自己的社交稍微出了问题，失去了这些机会。。。有时候，还真的怀疑自己的办事能力有问题。。。为什么那么在乎别人怎么看我？又怕别人那捂不住地嘴巴，被他们批评到一文不值~

自欺欺人

2010-06-08T00:26:00.000+08:00

睡不着觉，我真得好累，好累。。。明明就对一个人有好感，可是由于害怕重复倒徹, 在我心里建了一道保护自己的围墙，以免再度受到伤害, 所以在否认。。。

其实，我也像一般女生，想要有人呵护，疼爱~ 我不想自己再次回到从前一样，追着自己喜欢的人跑，即使他从不回头看我一眼，我也笨笨的继续追在他后面然后再讨好他~ 结果，换来的只是他的冷落。。。

我知道自己自私，希望自己的另一半紧张我，关心我，可是我对于他的关心，却不想表达出来让他知道~
白痴，好复杂哦~

越描越觉得自己像白痴~

宁，damn hungry~ Miss u so much!! Faster , need ur consult for my situation~ I know, for sure u ask me to study 1st...

I . Me . Myself

2010-06-02T18:52:00.000+08:00

以前的我，遇到了一个自己喜欢的人就会很顺其自然的一起出去。。。久而久之这段恋情就开始了。。。　一开始都是开心的，结果呢？我本身经不起他人的挑拨，所以。。。现在已摆脱了纠缠不清的关系。。。单身了～　

现在就活在自己生活圈，尽量认识更多更多能让我开心的朋友。。。

我想，这些经验都变成了生活的阴影。。。即使遇到对他有好感的人,我想我也会说服自己别想太多，顶多只作朋友吧～　这样一来，我们都会是永远的朋友。。。　我真得很怕失去然后心痛的感觉，被被判的感觉。。。接下来的感情世界，我想因该会被这一层看似没有的，可是又在心里一直警惕你的人体GPS。。。永远心存怀疑的态度面对接下来的感情。。。

只有用行动来证明他对我的感觉，那又是另外一回事了～　　当然，我也是以普通的女生，也想自己的另一半疼自己呀～　你说对不对？　嘻嘻！！

所以，加油咯！！　单身万岁！！！　　开心就好！！

March Baby

2010-03-01T20:30:00.000+08:00

生日很快就要到了，有很多次想要问他还记得我的生日是在几号？可是，又不敢。。。因为我有很大的预感，他忘了我的生日日期~ 觉得自己很可悲，因为太多事情我自己可以猜到的但又不敢面对。。。这个星期跟他说分手其实是给自己借口，让我可以从今天开始就说服自己说别在希望他会给我什么礼物或是惊喜了~ 期望越高，失落就越大。。。
如果他还记得我的生日我应该满足了~ 知足常乐是我一直以来的为人~

难道他忘了去年他对我的诚意有加，从槟城回来吉隆坡，下着雨，也要过来再次帮我庆祝吗？那感觉就好像昨天才发生的一样，心里还沾沾自喜的~ 在那时候身为朋友的他还蛮体贴的，还请了我吃一顿好的~

我不是一个追求物质的女生，但如果可以收到自己喜欢的男生送我的东西，我想那一定很开心~
身为女生/男生的你 *你说是不是呢？*
生日的前一天，朋友们都忙着赶论文，我想我也是，大家都没时间吧。。。
可能，可以透过简讯收到你们的祝福我就心满意足了。。。
真不希望自己那一天是那么堕落~
我想到了，买一瓶红酒，一块迷你蛋糕，插上蜡烛，为自己唱生日歌，许愿，吹蜡烛。。。
再来自拍，post 上去~ 还是一样，我会很开心的~

P.S: 宁，你不一样哦，我死都要你帮我庆祝！！！ hehehx!!

Last Photo i took in 2009 - New Hope in New Year

2010-01-01T00:33:00.000+08:00

year 2009 oredi passed,today is 2010, is the 1st day and a brand new day in 2010... now look back, i've come across a lot of good things and bad things...there are laughters and sadness... there are too much storries that i'd like to tell here.... There so many sad things happen on me in 2009 but Now i hope I could have a New hope in New year!! I must try my best to change myself into a better 1 ,let go those stuffs that always make me unhappy and wake up with a smile in every morning~

31st of Dec 2009

Random

2009-11-22T00:08:00.000+08:00

Im so bored over here... ntg to do besides online n playing with the hamster...

one of the hamster seems like oredi bcum insane, hide itself inself the small "house", curl up like a ball n bcum "anti-social"... its whole body get wet n hair bcum thinner n thinner, compare to 1st day we bought it...

What is happening on it? so sad T.T

See~ It got "you1 yu4 zheng4" d...

My Crazy Fren

2009-11-20T01:57:00.000+08:00

Have u ever heard the line " 它(virus)跟那个anti-virus fuck merr...." ," 有一天我死了记得买 'Justea' 来拜我 k?"...
This is my BESTEST fren : Chicken NingS (the main reason she is being called so is due to she is a Kia si person)

She is the most carefree person i've even seen... She never pretend ... She'll show her passions and tender loving care to her frens who is in need ... I cannot guarantee everyone can feel in the same way as I do,but at least this is the way she treat me, never show her FAKEness in front of me...

Ning Ning kia

I Love u & Thanks for accompany me most of the time when i need a close fren to share my everything~!

Hamsters

2009-11-20T01:19:00.000+08:00

Before we came back to KL, chye n I went to Chou Tian Yang Aquarium to buy Hamsters...
we chose 1 male n 1 female,coz chye said "1st of all ,different sex will have stronger affinity towards each other,so they wont get bored. 2nd of all ,he said they can make love if they were too bored..." <--- this shows that weird master will have weird pet.... >.<" {pervert}

The following photos were taken during on our way coming bek from penang and they are so excited!!

Keep running running~ keep running running~

hmm~ one of them tired d.... or maybe got nausea due to long distance traveling =s

"Let me out! Let me out!"

16th Nov 2009

“If I’m a STORM WARRIOR”

2009-11-14T00:54:00.000+08:00

If i'm a Storm Warrior I'll organise a commitee and teach all the members with all my kung fu (martial arts) and protect people against the Evil one....
besides that i can also collect as many members as i could and then collect registration fee,member fee from them,so that i can earn money...rm50 monthly fees,den i dont have to worry about my rental next year.. *phew~
Especially guys who know martial arts can use it to show off in front of the gals that they like (khao lui) or as a weapon to protect girls that they love ...

This is the pose when i fight with the "Devils"

Howling at the New Moon

2009-11-13T23:51:00.000+08:00

This is my first time to join the mini contest and i am such a fan of twilight! I love this movie and this is gonna be a awesome movie!! My friend told me that Naffnang has a lot of mini contest and one of it is to win the Twilight saga:New Moon screening tickets, so im here to write about what i like in Twilight Saga.

First of all, Edward is soO cooL (cannot wait to see him in the movie), im so anticipated!!

I cant stop myself from keeping imagine that how if when im watching the movie half way, Edward is sitting beside me~ ^.^
Second of all, a couple that love each other so much must not be seperated...they must be together and there is no other reason to seperate them...jz like Edward & Bella..Edward falls so passionately in love with Bella ... so, it's undeniable that when watching this movie, involuntarily my mind,my feeling will be dragged into the movie and it goes along with the story line...

现在终于明白，你爱一个人但不代表哪个人会爱你~

2009-10-22T18:24:00.002+08:00

郭静 - 明白
作词：王雅君作曲：王雅君

你说了一万遍的你爱我
你说了什麽我都懂
因为爱很久所以我都懂

可是我发现没人能永久
就算我们曾勾勾手还是会寂寞
没有你之後我才明白的更多

你看着我来我看着你走
生命有太多分分合合难免要承受的痛
你看着我来我看着你走
就算捂住耳朵我还能听见你呼吸的温柔

你说了一万遍的你爱我
你说了什麽我都懂
因为爱很久所以我都懂

可是我发现没人能永久
就算我们曾勾勾手还是会寂寞
没有你之後我才明白的更多

你看着我来我看着你走
生命有太多分分合合难免要承受的痛
你看着我来我看着你走
就算捂住耳朵我还能听见你呼吸的温柔

你看着我来我看着你走
生命有太多分分合合难免要承受的痛
你看着我来我看着你走
就算捂住耳朵我还能听见你呼吸的温柔
就算我会心痛你的好永远都填满我心中

爱一个人如果付出太多，当另外一半从不为你着想，让你感觉到你对于他只是普通朋友时，那感觉很辛酸。。。

世界上最笨的女生- 非我莫属

2009-10-15T16:49:00.000+08:00

被打，被骗，还是那么深爱着他。。。这究竟是为了什么？我是为了他而活吗？值得吗？
同样的问题环绕着我，无法解开，也不知道为什么自己那么执著。。。
当我鼓起勇气决定放下时，他才叫我给他多一次机会，我应该怎么做？
还没有定性的他，还要玩玩，就连我们的感情也只是玩玩罢了。。。
到底，他还爱我吗？他还适合我吗？我好想念他，喜欢他，却不能让他知道。。。同时，我又伤心，难过因为一次又一次的被骗。。。
我好难受，有几次想睡觉就永远不要醒过来了，可是，因为他，我失眠足足1个月了，只是靠着安眠药睡觉。。。他永远都不会知道，永远不会去理会我到底有多辛苦就为了迁就他。。。他要喝酒就喝酒，他要到处认识女生，跟她们拿电话号码我都没有权力管。。。
我该怎么办？

Is he worth me to wait for him?

2009-09-22T00:35:00.000+08:00

Stop challenging with me, I lose most of my patience on you!! Everything i can change because of him,according to what he wants ,but he never care about my feeling... Im so upset with his attitude... Why must Frens come 1st instead of me? why ask me go back hometown, in fact i came here so far juz for YOU! u wan spend more time v ur frens, need personal space, everything i gave u...but end up, u nvr appreciate !!!
everything u promise me,u nvr make it...whenever u met ur frens,u forget about me... even a call or msg ,u nvr send even one ...n I'm da 1 who waiting like a donkey... How many hours? How many days? I tot i can wait forever, but until now oni i realise, U r not the right person n u dont deserve to let me wait for u!!

Lonely girl~

2009-08-07T17:20:00.000+08:00

Why i have nothing happy about to post up on my blog? why must everytime is the same problem?
why must i so sad n disappointed for him?
just because of he doesn't care about me? whatever i done for him,he never care about it...
In facebook, he always leave comment on his friends' and housemates' page..i can bet v him,he never go see my profile page to have the curiosity to know what im doing? how i feel today and what problem i've got for this past few months until that nite i was beg'ing him to leave some comments on my wall to make me happy...I've to beg for him man~ what is my status in his heart? I sick,i din take meal,he wont care oso...that day,he sit in front of laptop watching drama for whole day long,n i've to suffer inside the room...promise me wan to bring me to see doctor in the afternoon,but he was watching drama and shout at me ask me go eat something n go sleep while he is sitting there watching movie...
i really dont understad why he can treat me until so "tidak apa"? anyone can tell me? Is he my bf or my normal friend? the most important thing is he will give alot of reasons and excuses , convince me that he is not purposely doing like this...
but let me ask u ppl a question, if u have got interested in someone,will u go n view his/her page? to see any changes any wall that he/she post up? honestly will u?
why i got this kind of BF? My heart very painful and i feel very helpless...

为什么他偏偏做足我不喜欢的东西？

2009-07-31T01:09:00.000+08:00

他，刚刚求我给他机会改，可是现在又在犯错了。。。可能，现在一边打字也看不清自己在写什么。。。这些字体都被泪水弄得迷迷糊糊了。。。我真的好像到楼下的游泳池，慢慢地沿着边躺下去，然后在不知不觉中睡着。。。被水溺毙那又如何？我真得透不过气了。。。

平时，我肚子好饿好饿，想要下去吃东西他都不肯，可是现在他竟和其他两个朋友一起下去吃。。。他说他没钱和我看电影，可是她却有钱和朋友一起去唱 K ... 他说星期日唱歌很贵，可是他却能和朋友一起去唱。。。这到底是什么理由？我的泪，流了足足20分钟。。。写到这儿，我也累了。。。现在已经是一点二十四分，眼睛好睏哦。。。

亲爱的神啊~ 有什么方法可以让我不再对他有感情吗？我也把他管得好严，连我自己都觉得不能呼吸，更何况是他。。。我不想再这么残忍了。。。我也不想再被他精神上的虐待。。。

累了。。。好像在睡梦中就这样死掉。。。我好想回家。。。 T.T

当然也有开心的时候。。。

2009-06-26T15:08:00.000+08:00

缆车

棉花糖

当然，不是每个时候都吵架。。。一想起开心的事，就会开心。。。这也是我自己安慰自己的方法。

开心也要过一天，难过也要过一天，那为什么自己那么笨，而选择消极的来惩罚自己呢？

他想要什么，只要不过分，我觉得我应该给他。。。他快乐我不一定快乐，不过至少他的自由不受到约束，我也不想要重蹈复测，让同样的悲剧再次重演。。。但如果我觉得他真的不是我想要的或是不能再让我开心，至少我会在被他伤害之前离开他。。。这可能是阴影所造成的。。。

ps: 我真的很希望有一天他会看到这些我所记载下来的点滴，希望他知道我想要的是什么。。。不难，只是基本的需求而以。。。犹如生物依靠空气生存的道理一样，不能缺。。。

但是，我知道他却像空气一样，不需要任何东西也能存在载着地球。。。

奢望他给我更多。。。更多他的注意，有错吗？还是只有电脑游戏可以活在你的世界？我输了吗？

2009-06-24T12:20:00.000+08:00

经过这一个星期，我才发现，什么东西是我想要的可是却得不到。。。永远永远都得不到。。。可能是我要求太多，还是我想得太多了。。。

“人比人” 永远都比不完。。。就像我班上的一位同学告诉我说：“你那么喜欢和以前比较，那为什么还接受他和他在一起？”

我只是希望他多关心我，记得我说的话，最重要的是记得我们俩一起相处的时间。。。

你是否能够告诉我为什么你那么健忘吗？是属于我们俩的时间和一起过什么，你统统都忘得一干二净。。。当我知道你从不记得我们所做的每一件事时，我的心。。。纠着，好疼，好失望。。。我们还是情侣没吗？

你是喜欢我吗？还是你只是喜欢爱情？喜欢出去时有一个女生在你声旁，手让你牵着，腰让你搂着，再向朋友炫耀说你也有女朋友，你只是喜欢“拍拖”这种感觉吗？

一个星期，呆在家里，我知道你很闷，你玩DOTA 和足球电脑游戏我都没哼半声反而在旁边陪着你，看着你玩。。。而且还在你身后独自玩了起来。。。直到昨晚在我回家前，才告诉你我的感受。。。

我不住址你玩是因为这是每个男生都会做的事，男生都爱玩电脑游戏，我给你空间，我更希望给了你私人空间后，你会多陪陪我，和我一起做我想做的事。。。

好希望你能够看到我在这里所发泄的心情，可是我知道你懒惰游览这些网站。。。

如果我有许愿盒可以让我的愿望实现的话，我想许一个愿望：但愿我们回到四月五号前，当我们还是很好很好的朋友，你还是那个很关心我的- 亲爱的~

Coupling Reaction : 情侣间的化学作用

2009-06-17T19:19:00.000+08:00

自从我们开始的那一天到现在，我们都没有为对方做过什么能让对方开心的事。。。反而，才短短得两个月内就开始争执与埋怨。。。
在这么短的学期内，不但要把学业顾好，而且我们俩的感情也必须维持在最佳状态，不是一件轻松的事。
其实，问题永远都在如果我们都不能把事情说出来。。。
[自由] 仍然是一个问题。我想给他自由，我也以为我做到了，可是他却要求的更多。
[对不起]是他做错后向我说的话。
为什么当一个人想得到想要却还没到手的东西是都会拼命去争取，可是得到以后却不会好好珍惜，错过了才后悔或者再赖对方给他太大的压力，这是人的本性吗？还是每一个男生都是一样的？
感情对我来说只有真正付出才是值得的，可是当对方觉得你很烦，常常‘绑’着他，使他的自由受到大大的威胁时，我觉得，他也一样会选择放手。。。那为什么要拖拖拉拉呢？
是我不够坚持吗？还是太爱他了呢？

感觉。。。朋友。。。还是女友？

2009-05-02T22:22:00.000+08:00

在一起真正是靠感觉。。。是这样子的吗？你认为呢？
当你觉得，你喜欢现在跟你在一起的人多过他喜欢你，你关心他胜于他关心你，你所为他付出的还比他为你付出得还多的时候。。。当你正在想这些问题的时候，那他到底在你心中占据了多少？爱一个人不是都从不会和另一半计较而全心全意的付出吗？是有朋友告诉我，要拍拖，多多少少都必须牺牲一些东西，可是这样很难捉到想要的平衡感耶-两全其美？说实在的，是有点困难啦~
朋友/女朋友。。。为了不让朋友说自己是重色轻友，更想讨好女友。。。真么办？
身为女友的你，如果都把所有自由给了他，而他呢？还是想过自己的生活，不让你管。。。又没让你觉得它把你放在第一。。。那该如何? 要怎样沟通？怎么“桥” 呢？

09/03/09 - Once In My Life

2009-03-09T23:36:00.000+08:00

This can only happen once in my life time...
09/03/09
Altho I got the surprise 1 day before but it really surprise me...
Today is my 21st B'day, and also is my 1st time i said THANK YOU to my MOM for giving birth to me...
THaNKz MOMMY!!! I love you!
Sorry and please forgive me for what i've done wrong before...
A lot a lot.... Plz forgive me for dont dare to confess everything to you in real life... I know Im bad... Im trying to be a gud kid... But to avoid from getting scolded n lectured, i've to choose keep silent...
I hope Next life if the God allow us to Re-born, I hope we can exchange our character I wish to be your mother,so that i can take care of u and Give all my Love to YOU- Mommy.... I lOVE YOU!

How do u define "FRIEND" ?

2009-03-08T23:33:00.000+08:00

朋友的定义是什么呢？在不同的人生阶段就需要不同的朋友。。。
有些人觉得朋友是当你不快乐的时候听你倾诉，安慰你，鼓励你。。。
其实，朋友对我来说，除了以上的角色他们还扮演另一个重要的角色。。。
当不管你与外人发生什么事，任何纠纷，无论对与错，朋友都会站在你这边。。。
而且，在今天我又学会了，原来朋友是不会与我们计较不愉快的事。。。
之前，我还有点愧疚和担心以后要如何继续相处？可是，她们已经没事了，我们双方面也互相道歉。。。心理的那一根刺已经去除了。。。呼。。。好开心哦！
从来没有得过这么大的惊喜。。。谢谢你们！

-21岁的生日收获-

Cocoon~

2009-02-04T00:25:00.000+08:00

Im new, Im fresh on here and also in this world,just like a cocoon turns into a beautiful butterfly...
Leave the past and look forward,there are more exciting one is going to happen in our future~
It's no point in thinking about yesterday,it's too late now and it wont be the same....